I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
