But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
i wish they had a 'baby daddy' section in halmark, like, "hey, i know you didn't want this child and you're doing a horrible job, but here's to making you cry on fathers day"
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
Randomize
