Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
Randomize