I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
Randomize
