I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
It took me years of patience and pilates and yoga and flirting to land that penis. So yeah, I’m going to ride it into the sunset and live orgasmically ever after
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
