it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
Randomize
