gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
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