Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
Randomize
