Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
