I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
I mean I feel like if you explain to the emoji app company that your friend got plastered and fell to the ground and is trying to scheme her way back to normal life and get her dignity back they would understand just how necessary it is to have a fingers crossed emoji...
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
Randomize
