so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
I want her autograph on my taint
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
Randomize
