This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
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