God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
