something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
Randomize
