omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
Randomize