it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
You passed out across the stairs with your feet and arms through the railings so you "wouldn't fall down when you blacked out and no one could get the pizza past you without waking you up". \n\nYou're the smartest drunk I know.
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
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