Heybabeimwearingurpanties
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
so much tequila, so little girl.
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
its liver damage thursday
Randomize
