Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
Randomize
