NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
Randomize
