i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
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