Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
my god I love twenty year old dicks
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
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