It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
i think i have herpe
just one?
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
Randomize
