that's an acceptable place to lick
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
Too much gin, very little bucket
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
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