You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Randomize
