I faked an abortion last night.
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
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