Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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