Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
