what if every blade of grass was a penis?
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
Randomize
