i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
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