Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
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