Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Randomize
