Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
he's single and there are thong briefs.
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