she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
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