no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Randomize