Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
Randomize
