He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
