I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
Randomize
