I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
Randomize
