Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
Randomize
