worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
Randomize
