Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
COCAINE IS GR8
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
Randomize
