I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
Randomize
