If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
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