So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
Randomize
