I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
Randomize
