I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
It's rum buckets o'clock
COCAINE IS GR8
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Randomize
