Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
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