my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
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