I feel like I'm in dance class right now
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
Randomize
