I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
