I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
Randomize
