so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
Randomize
