batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
There was a time I was reining queen of Sunday funday... And at that same time I also weighed 20 pounds more, had the morale of a spearmint rhino stripper, and woke up most mornings asking more questions than fucking Barbara Walters. I think I just wrote my own epitaph.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
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