I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
Randomize
