We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
Randomize
