Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
stop calling my apartment porn island.
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Randomize
