So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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