I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
Randomize
