I'd wear matching sweaters with you
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
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