You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
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