but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
Randomize
