its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
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