Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
Did you pee in the oven last night??
Randomize
