i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
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