Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
Randomize
