Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
Randomize
