What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
you guys were way drunker than both of me
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
This is my life. Enjoy the view
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
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