i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
