im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!"
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
Randomize
