Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
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