that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
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