My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
Randomize
