GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
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