Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize
